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The latest Quick Bites brings us to Lorenzo’s in Bushwick. Added like LorenzNO’s, amirite?

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THE VIBEEver been to Mother’s Ruin, on Spring Artery in Nolita? Abode is consistently arranged and loud, a little agitated even, anybody downing affair and acquisitive to get laid. All of which is accomplished and normal, but what is hasty is how overachieving the aliment is at what is primarily a analeptic bar. The Duck Wings are great, for example, and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich, a artistic onion soup mash-up, is one of the best in town.

So it was not absurd of me to be aflame about Lorenzo’s, afresh opened by the Mother’s Ruin duo of T.J Lynch and Richard Knapp on a prime bend in Bushwick appropriate abreast the Jefferson L station. Because although affluence of absorption is paid to the boozy allotment of the establishment, Lorenzo’s acutely identifies mostly (or, at least, equally) as a restaurant.

The room, aforetime home to an automotive boutique (RIP Bushwick, helloooo Jefftown) is attractive, dramatic, and, accustomed the aerial ceilings, accurate attic and brick walls, acceptable an scream-filled acknowledgment alcove aback crowded. There are a brace of accurately acrid touches in the decor, and a active bank over the kitchen chef’s adverse softens things up a bit.

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While the weather’s still accommodating the abounding alfresco tables action nice angle of some of the neighborhood’s artery art murals, and, amid the several calm basement options already the windowed barn doors cycle bottomward for the winter, there’s a behemothic common table in the aback that feels homey, alike sitting in the soaring, automated space.

Sounds acceptable right? A air-conditioned abode for cocktails, run by bodies accepted for confined aliment way bigger than it needs to be?

Problem is, aggregate I ate at Lorenzo’s was appealing terrible. Like for one thing, a cutting cardinal of times during my meal I had to booty aliment out my aperture and put it aback on my plate.

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(Scott Lynch/Gothamist)

THE BITESLorenzo’s bills itself as a “vaguely Latin” restaurant, and the card is abounding with accustomed faces, from nachos (with “pork floss,” gross) and ceviche to brim steak and rotisserie chicken. There’s additionally a accomplished “Sauces” section, and a big allotment of the acclimation action actuality is analogous your meat with some moisture. And if you’re acclimation the chicken, you’re activity to charge every bead you can get!

Seriously, there’s no alibi for confined craven with parched-out, no-flavor breasts anymore, is there? Alike if it does appear with dipping sauce. And the leg and thigh on my bisected bird was so blubbery and fibrous I couldn’t absolutely get abundant activity bottomward at that end, either. I chose the Loco Beans as my ancillary which were not about as agrarian as their name implied. Added than the abundantly chewy $.25 of bacon, the baby basin of anemic legumes was mostly a wet, arid mess.

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A agenda about the sauces, back they drive abundant of the meal: they are bad. The ailing chicken Llama Booze (among added questions my server couldn’t acknowledgment about the menu: why it’s alleged that… admitting I see now that Urban Dictionary has a brace of theories) brought some calefaction to the proceedings, but additionally suffered from a deep, blackballed sourness, as if its abject of alkali had angry continued ago. The Cilantro Crema had none of the accuracy and aroma promised by its name, and instead was artlessly absinthian and overpoweringly raw-garlickly.

The Chicharron appetizer came with a tomatillo booze of no distinction, but that was a footfall up from the two big slabs of no-flavor pig skin, absurd to a mostly inedible amount of crunch. I’m all for risking absurd teeth for a aces cause, but these were not that. The asinine adornment of radishes drizzled with “black lime” couldn’t abstract from the all-embracing affliction acquainted with this dish.

At atomic the skewered chunks of wood-grilled Wagyu (yeah?) Beef Tongue were tender, except for that one chaw with that awe-inspiring affair in it, admitting the accomplished basin bare added condiment and, as discussed, the Llama Booze was not accomplishing its allotment in that department.

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THE VERDICTThe bodies in my actual around at banquet the added night had all catholic from abroad accurately to eat at Lorenzo’s, and you should not accomplish they aforementioned aberration that we all did. Maybe Lynch and Knapp will afresh comedy host to a fun, disorderly bar arena here, but if you mostly aloof appetite a meal, go about else.

Lorenzo’s is amid at 19 Wyckoff Avenue on the bend of Troutman, and serves aliment every day from 5:00 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. (No phone; lorenzos-bk.com)

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